When I woke up this mornin.. I heard, a disturbin sound..

And by disturbing sound, I of COURSE mean my drunk roommate, coughing up a very special blend of lung butter.

About 3 months ago, I look around my nearly vacant apartment and thought to myself, "Self, you live by yourself in a 2 bedroom apartment. Self, you are paying full rent and have a 2nd bedroom that is just closed off and the closet is being used as storage. Self, WTF." So, I got me a roommate.

I started my roommate search like everyone else does. Weeding out the crazies on craigslist. When nothing came of that, a guy at work had just gotten out of the hospital and had been staying in a "pay by the week" motel. Not thinking to ask why a 50 year old man would need to live in such a place, I offered my 2nd bedroom to him, for more than half of course. I have to make up for the extra use of water and electricity somehow, right?

So, he moves in. We will call him, W.

The first night W moved in, he proceeded to drink a 5th of vodka. I was not home while he was moving in and by the time I got home that evening, he was moved in, and quite drunk. I said ok.. most people drink gatorade and save the alcohol till they are done, but Ok. All I wanted to do that night was put away my laundry and watch a movie. W decided it would be a better idea to sit in the hallway in front of my door and talk to me. Of course I can't watch my movie or shut the door in his face, because that would just be rude.

Almost 3 months later.....
He's drank all the beer in my fridge, including my Guinness. If he wanted the Sam Adams and whatever else was in there from what I had bought a YEAR ago and stuff friends left from, a YEAR ago, ok.. but not my Guinness man.. that shit is sacred!
He has decided to help himself to my absynth.
He drinks a case of Busch's in about 2 days
He has skipped work, not just one day, but last week it was 4 days in a row, to stay home and get drunk
My apartment smells like stale beer

I go home, and go right to my room and shut the door. The soonest I can move out of this apartment is April.


Dear god.... Dear little baby jesus fetus up in heaven... give me the strength to not kill this man

IN OTHER NEWS

My very good friends, LucasCookus are putting out a CD. This has been planned and talked about for months, and 11/20 is the date of release, FINALLY.
I have been made their "anti-sobriety and debauchary coordinator". This basically means when I go to shows, I make it my personal mision to get them very very drunk. I accomplish this goal very well, thank you very much.

I wonder if I can get business cards and write off the bar tabs.......

Highlight of the day:
Seeing a riced out car. I know this is nothing special, but I gotta say, if I hadnt been driving, I would have had to take a picture. This was all kinds of special awesome WTF, including pinkish-purplish "flames" on the front and going down the sides. I think to myself, "Self, this is one special douch-bag" and I look...... and its a GIRL driving. It makes me sad for the entire female species. I apologize on behalf of her for making the city of Austin look at this.